India hurt

News unfolded
On TV and paper
Blood splashed
Bullets sprayed
Grenades exploded
Terror unleashed.

Wondered who
Could fathom something
As gory as this.
Wondered who
Could plan crudely
Death such as this.

Wondered how
Human beings as these
Were born as such.
Wondered what
Neurons collided
Creating thoughts thus.

Time we rise
As one nation, Indian
As one race, Human
With one religion, Love
In one language, Compassion.

Will we ?
Time we did.

Hazy regions, confusing and crazy.

Two and a half years after leaving CIT, I got a chance to be part of organizing a conference. Of course, the role has changed - from being on the committee to being a volunteer. So, back it was to the college days. But then, it was a melange. Polymorphism in computer science. Having been a faculty since 1999, the last two years I have tried to undo the 'faculty' in me. I have been successful to a large extent. But it has been difficult, I should say. And I know I am not 100 % successful.

The last four days of TENCON was a test in itself. A test of where I stood. Sometimes, I got into student mode, and sometimes into staff mode. Student mode in the sense, I was happy running around doing things. But then, when required to get things done, I think in many places I put my foot down like a staff would. This due to the fact that I am used to organizing events year after year with students. Having done it over half a dozen times every year, the job was to get students to do the basics and then improvise. We used to meet everyday and discuss things, thereby disseminating information. We did brainstorm wherever required. There were times when I learnt things from my students. I remember our late night dinners after a long days work. So, the borders merged, the areas hazed. I played two roles in the last four days. And it felt crazy.

Getting people to work here is difficult. Of course, the staff student relationship is the same as in any other place. But, there are other things that are different. And as part of that, I did have backlashes too. Like when someone raised their hand at me. All I could do was stare him down. It would have been different if I was in staff mode.

At the end of the day, I am left confused as to what I am and what I have made myself. I know that next year, when I get back to CIT, I will have to shed this student garb and get into the robe of a staff again. Not that the robe of a staff is heavy or harsh. But, I learnt that the two roles are different, the views different, the understanding different. I got a chance to view things from the other side again. Something I have not had the chance in the last 10 years. That is something this Ph.D. has given me.

Another thing is that I understood why polymorphism is so complicated a subject. And someone successful at it, is talented. What do you say ?

A Golden Sieve

A golden sieve
I received one night
By chance I'd say
For a brief period of time.

Gathered all the priced gems
Added the smaller ones too
Putting it to use
Went swish, swish, swish.

At the end of it
Was surprised to see
Among the many leftovers
One of the most priced gems.

With sorrow I picked
To find it cracked
The most priced gem
Alas was nothing worth.

Wonder of wonders
The less priced ones
Were lying on the floor
Sparkling in all splendour.

Just to realize
Life's teaching
The folly in picking
Adding to the pain.

I lay battered
Bruised and cut
Heart broken for sure
Unbelieving still my eyes.

I know I will rise
Stronger and wise
For life's lessons
Are strong and right.