Bondage, of the Mind

I was born
Not by choice
But by incident
Of two consenting individuals.
They bring me up
Reminding me of bondage
Everytime I falter
As does the zamindar to the labourer.

They were pledged in the womb
Not of their making
For debt to be repaid
Forever and ever.
Same it is here
The debt being of carriage
Of bearing for nine months
Forever and ever.

Like the labourer
I knew not when I stepped out
That this would be my lot
That this would be my life.
So, I ask myself
Did I ask to be carried
Did I pray for her pain
Then, how am I to be blamed ?

Every time I flap my wings
To check the current
This one line rings always
On the recorder.
Physical bondage is better
To emotional bondage I concur
For the pain is only of the body
And not so much of the mind.

So, I pledge my childhood
But, that's not enough
So, try with my youth
But, the cup doesn't fill
So, I go through with my middle age
To be told that her end would be soon
And that I am free after that
But then, so would be mine.

My childhood plucked away
My youth nipped in the bud
My adulthood compromised
My middle age passes by
And then a promise of freedom
Of living my life the way I want
Of making my own decisions.

So, I look at myself in the mirror
With my new found freedom
My skin wrinkled
My hair gone grey
My bones cracking
My eyes have lost their shimmer
My dreams dying o'er twice
Of life that never was.

This life I finally realize
Is one of bondage
Bondage not necessarily physical
But also of the mind.
The cord that bound
Though cut physically
Is never lost
For mankind in the mind.


("I bore him for nine months, the pain and sleepless nights. But see what I get in return". I have heard this line repeated by mothers. This poem is to those children, children with lost childhoods, youth with silent dreams, adulthood with lost dreams. To the pain, unseen, unknown.......

Well, after reading, Arun suggested that I end it on a happy note, with hope, with life. So, )

I feel the tug
Of my shirt
Turn around, and there she stands
My little darling
My dreams, my hope
And I know, that my dreams are alive
That freedom will be hers
To choose her own path
To light her own trail.

Ctrl-Z

There are a few common things any person using computers knows. Cut & Paste and Ctrl-Z & Ctrl-Y. We use it without even thinking twice, especially the Cut & Paste.

Ask a teacher about assignments submitted by students - there is so much that is Cut & Paste from the net, that sometimes even links like 'Back', 'Next' are part of the assignment. It is what can be called a necessary devil. We can't do without it, but still, it annoys us when we can decipher where it has been used.

So is Ctrl-Z. Coding, coding, I came to a point, where I couldn't pinpoint what I had done to introduce a bug to an otherwise perfectly working software. After trying a lot of reasoning, I decided against my better judgement to use Ctrl-Z. My previous usage of Ctrl-Z was disastrous and hence, had decided to use Ctrl-Z as a last option, when left with nothing.

So, I did it, like when you play solitaire or free cell and come to a point when it says "No more moves". After a number of Ctrl-Z, when it felt confident that a point of no errors was reached, the decision was made to stop. For with so many Ctrl-Zs I had no idea by then what I had changed, given my limited RAM(that's my brain) and no linked-list technology to remember the string of changes with its implications. Confidently saved, and when I did execute, it was a point so far away from where I was actually, that I thanked the creators for having the foresight to create a Ctrl-Y, for cases like mine.

So, finally am back to square one with a promise once again to myself that I will not use Ctrl-Z. Except of course, for solitaires and free cell. Definitely, not for code.