1000+/1200

When a guy who gets 1000+ in the board exams out of 1200 fails miserably in his degree, what are you supposed to think ? That the teacher failed him in teaching the way he would be interested in learning, that he has lost interest in studying, that he finds playing more fun, that he has decided to fail, that he doesn't care.... What are you supposed to think ?

I fail to understand this and it hurts for either the person has lost interest or he has been put into a situation (by himself or others) into such a situation.

Retrieving oneself and going back is an arduous task. It can be done, if everyone walks their bit, but then who is ready to do that. The easy way is to point a finger and give up.

Freshly Ploughed Earth

A freshly ploughed field shows beauty, texture and strength of the earth.  Something alluring, magnetic, inviting and enduring.

A Pilgrimage

Guruvayur is famous - for Lord Sri Krishna resides there. If one goes early morning(3:00 a.m. - 3:20 a.m.) for Nirmalya Darshanam then one sees the Lord adorned with the flowers and garlands of the previous night. From then on, as the day progresses, one can see Him in various forms from childhood till adulthood.

Anyone who has gone there knows that for a 5 second darshan of the Lord, you have to wait for near an hour, sometimes three hours. The time spent in the queue is very interesting. All kinds of people, poor and rich stand in the same queue to have their 5 seconds with Him. Some chant, some are more concerned about when they will be able to leave, some about what they have to do once they are back home, some about sedentary things in life and others are concerned about how to overtake the person in front. Through all this most of us try to think of him and meditate maybe on how miniscule we are on earth and how our actions and reactions to people around better be good for the little time we have.

Through all this there was one couple who were discussing about watching 3D Titanic after leaving the temple. It sounded so ridiculous (to me atleast). Yes, Lord Krishna had eight wives(16000 odd were those who were kept in the harem of King Narakasura and asked for Krishna's protection. He granted their wish by declaring that they were his wives). Yes, we see Krishna as the divine lover. However, standing there in front of the temple, waiting for a darshan and wishing that they watch a movie. They might as well have watched the movie and then come in peace.

Or maybe Krishna was testing our capacity to keep our mind from going astray - from wandering away from him. 

Why a Countdown ?

Why a countdown ?


Life is to be lived. However, there is another side too. It is to be remembered. Not the person alone, but the events and the people around. For what are we, but an event(can I call myself that) made up of collaborating people, known and unknown. People does not always refer to human beings here. It refers to anything, living or non-living which makes us feel part of something big.

After nearly four decades, I think it is time I note down incidences, good and bad for the future. When I sit back sometime in the future on my rocking chair, hair all white, all I will have to look back on are incidences, crazy, funny and the serious. Maybe it will help me pass time then. But in the years it takes to reach there, I feel I might forget something in the run to make a life as we know it.

Hence, this is a sort of diary, but not a diary. It is a recording of incidences in my life, my theories, my beliefs, my opinion which I will not analyze in the blog(I shall personally of course), but leave it for another day. That day I will look back on incidents and see if there is a connection to others. The diary will serve as a place where I store things I want to, some important, some not so.

I don't mind revealing the stories. I can only request that people not be judgmental for the incidences are happenings that I am a part of - knowingly and unknowingly. They are what shape my life and will shape it too. I am not perfect but I do aspire to and in the run up to that perfection, I must commit my share of mistakes. I will be I know, but can only hope that I learn from them and not repeat them too often atleast. For I am but a human being. Things very personal may not find a place here. So, I am my own censor too.

The Season of Internals

It's the time of the year when students and staff negotiate a lot.  Students try convincing us one way and we, on our part get caught between the system and the students.  A time for internal assessments.  Many will say, what is there to negotiate.  'They will get what they deserve'.

I don't know how one feels when one's kid comes up and tells, 'Yes, I didn't try hard enough.  But just consider this time'.  Sometimes, I feel torn between looking at a student as an adult who should have realized what his actions will result in and listened when I have informed about the internal calculation in the beginning of the semester and looking at him as just a kid with all the quirks and playfulness only a kid can have.  No, I am not justifying his actions.  I am wondering about the thin line and how to balance between the two.

The system of internal calculation is good, given that information is provided in advance of the method followed for calculation.  Abroad, at 16, a kid learns to manage his/her own life.  They take responsibility and parents also give them that space.  In India, even at 25, a grown up is treated like a kid.  We still report to his parents that he is not coming properly to class, is playful and what not and parents expect the same.  In our culture, parents are still responsible for their kids which has its pros and cons given the different world we live in today.  So, I wonder if they learn what is taking responsibility for one's life and actions till they probably land on a job in a new place and having to manage their life.

Students who pass out and come back a year later are different.  They grow up.  The last instance was meeting one of Arun's friends son who was a student the first time I spoke to him and a year later had worked in an organization.  He had so much more confidence.  Of course he retained his boyishness but also had the look of responsibility and spoke with conviction which was not there earlier.  I didn't realize it at first.  I kept looking at him and wondering what was different from last time.  On the way home, it was Arun who told me, 'He has transformed from a boy to a man.  He is so much more confident, knows what he wants and where he wants to be'.  No, his parents are not those who take his decisions.  They are very level headed people who I think gave him his space when he was a student too.  Still, the transformation.

So, a boy/girl in college continues to be a kid who thinks he can ask his teachers for consideration just like he/she will ask parents.  The only way around is for both parents and teachers to help him grow up.  To help him understand that when he turns 18, it just does not mean he is an adult and hence has the licence to drive bikes and cars as well as vote, but also take responsibility for actions that affect his life.

Besides, the students I meet today are a different lot from kids at our time.  In my class also I had friends who had problems, financial and otherwise.  The number was ofcourse lesser.  Today, we find more of such cases.  In our time, most of our moms were homemakers and hence we had someone to fall back on.  Today, with cost of living so high, both parents have to work to make ends meet, unless ofcourse one is rich.  So, family time is less.  Also, students from rural backgrounds have issues of adjusting to the urban setup where language, way of life and loss of home becomes a huge factor along with the responsibility of somehow succeeding, meeting expectations and paying off loans.

Then ofcourse, there is this factor that kids today are so much more sensitive compared to our generation.  Given most of them  are a single child, they get pampered and most of their whims and fancies are met at home.  Also, peer pressure is so much more.  They don't understand terms like integrity and meeting one's goals with respect to the job.  However, they know their goals for fun and everything else.

We are a nation in transition, I believe.  And each of us are in the same state.  This generation has more pressure than us.  They are the ones technology has touched, who have been influenced by TV and fast life, who are expected to earn in lakhs from the day they pass out, unlike us who could take our own time to grow.

So, I wonder what to do especially when a student falters once despite doing well in all other aspects during a course.  Ofcourse, no marks for not trying - there is no two ways about that.  I have always believed that trying is important than actual results given that each of us are built differently.  My dad always said, 'Try - if it comes your way great.  If it doesn't, you atleast know it was not for want of you trying'.  And due to this, many a time, I give more value to the underdog who has tried hard than the student who has the talent and capability giving in an average output.  This gives rise to questions from students again and I tell them to go beyond average for they are more than average giving rise to the line 'Your are expecting too much from us'.  I tell them, 'I do. I expect you to rise high, to go beyond, to aim for the stars, to go where your dreams go and be happy, realize your potential.  For I know what you are capable off'.  Then I wonder, 'Am I adding to the pressures they already have in life ?'  It's so confusing sometimes and I wonder, I wonder a lot.

So, it is that time of the year when I have to take a decision where my heart says one thing and my brain the other.  And I try to follow my heart where I can.  Don't know if I am right but that is the way.

Determination - an example set by a 11 year old boy

Gabriel Muniz - a eleven year old boy has set the benchmark for determination.  He has no feet but plays football amazingly as hence has been invited by Barcelona to train with them.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/southamerica/brazil/9503766/Eleven-year-old-Brazilian-boy-with-no-feet-to-train-with-Barcelona.html

One more Onam

This Onam was a little different.  Achan had come making it special.  This is the first Onam with Achan here at home.  He came after a lot of convincing and a little bit of fighting, but it was worth it.

While I did the cooking, Arun and Achan did the pookalam.  Achan was the designer and said, that he would do a 'Sputnik'.  I jumped wondering what that meant.  He said, when sputnik was first launched, that was the design for Onam then.  A craft with four legs.  So, both of them got down to making 'Sputnik Pookalam'.  It was fun.

The sputnik Achan designed and Arun implemented.  He said that something is missing and when they had done it then, it was better.

So, this Onam, we welcomed Mahabali with Sputnik.

  I look back to the old days when Onam was with a big family.  My mom used to do the pookalam single handedly as well as the Sadhya for all three of us used to have school.  She was very good at it.  Wish I could go back in time.  Maybe next year we should get together, for we have Deeksha and Vivaan, the next generation.

Woman of Steel

My university's VC wrote in his blog about one of the first woman physician of India.  I thank him for it, for this is a story that was unknown to me.

Dr. Anandi Gopal Joshi's(Anandibai) story is a source of inspiration.  My hair stands on end reading this piece.  The determination of this lady to stand by her ideas and principles at a time when a woman's place in Indian society was only at home is commendable.  Commendable is also the fact that her husband encouraged and stood by her.  'Behind every man there is a woman' is a common adage.  It should be changed because it is biased many a times, as this story shows.  I would say 'Behind every half, there is another half'.

Wikipedia's write up link:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anandi_Gopal_Joshi

To read her letter from the archives click http://xdl.drexelmed.edu/viewer.php?object_id=001340&t=womanmd

Celebrating Life

Sometime in my school days, I remember telling my sisters two things to be done after I die :  one, not to latkaufy(hang) my picture on a wall, and second not to take me for cremation in that vehicle that they commonly use.  My sisters looked at me stunned and asked me to stop it, if I was done with the thought.  I also asked them not to sit around and cry for me.  They had had enough.

It must have been weird for them to hear their eldest sister talking of death.  For me, it was just what I wanted.  It is something that I have told Arun too and both of us agree about the same.  We would like our family and friends to be happy, sing and dance rather than cry.  I am happy to have lived my life, however small it may have been.  I am happy to have known some very nice people, to have family and friends who know me in and out and yet love me unconditionally.  I would consider it a huge success if I have brought happiness to someone or helped someone even if it is in a small way; if I have stood up for what I have believed in.  

We saw the idea live, in action after going to the P.R. Ramakrishnan Memorial Music Concert where Mrs. R. Rajeswari, his wife had invited Mrs. Usha Uthup for an evening of music.  We were happy to see his family celebrating his life and admire their strength and conviction in doing so.

P.R. Ramakrishnan was a visionary.  He setup industries and an educational institution which is 50+ years old.  From what I have heard, CIT had a name for education and fun.  I told one of my friends, 10 years elder to me, from Trichy that I was joining CIT, Cbe in 2000.  He remembered how when he was a student, if he visited Coimbatore for something, he wouldn't go to a hotel for lunch.  He would get his friends to buy guest coupons in the mess, for CITs food was the best you could get.  He said it was the same with most students those days.  He particularly remembered the 'morkozhambu' that CIT used to dish out on Thursdays and I could see his mouth watering at that thought.  Imagine, one of his fondest memories of Cbe is of having lunch at CIT, though he never studied at CIT or Coimbatore for that matter.

So, it is right that we are celebrating the life of a man who has given so many people so much.  Many people think that only those they meet have touched their lives.  Actually, with an educational institution, you are linked to the founding fathers more than anyone else.  For me, I have always looked up to Mr. Ramaswamy Iyer who started Seethalakshmi Ramaswami College at a time when women's education was taboo.  I respect him for giving so many women the precious gift of education and through it empowerment.  

When many people hear that I am from SRC, they doubt it and then ask me how I survived in that constraining environment.  But I say, "Hey, I had the best part of my life there".  We were girls given all the freedom to do whatever we wanted.  Of course there were rules and our teachers were strict.  They were however never unreasonable.  I was a dayscholar, so not much known about the hostel.  25 departments having our own cultural fest for three days, a freshers party, sports, bhajans,..... if all this is not fun, what is ?   Students used to bunk classes and get vada and bhajji from the canteen, sit under the trees away from the main campus and eat them to find Mr. Panjapakesan, the current trustee (Panju or Panju thaatha as we fondly call him to date) walk by and ask them if the food served in the canteen was good enough(this story is from a senior).   

I was someone who didn't like the saree rule.  So, given a chance I would wear a salwar-kamiz for the saree was revealing, and it was trouble in the bus.  So, on sundays when we had class, I used to wear salwars, rebelling at the idea of wearing a saree on a sunday.  Panju saw me many a time, but never asked me once.  I hoped he would ask and I could tell him how it was difficult for us to wear a saree and travel in a bus especially with men touching and pinching.  He never gave me a chance.  And I gave up.  

One other time, I followed Panju on his daily walk around the campus.  I had heard he has a routine everyday, which he never breaks.  He walks around, stopping by at certain places, watches us students go by, and in the middle of the ground, he takes off his slippers and prays.  I admired him for that.  The campus does not change radically but he walked around everyday.  That was his commitment to keep in touch with the students I guess and be in touch with the pulse of the college.  Stand at the gates of the college, and you can feel the energy.  2000 students walking in at 9:00 in the morning.  Maybe, that must be why he walks, that energy, to know if we are on the move or relaxing.  :)  Commitment is something I guess I learnt from my dad and him.  

At CIT, I respect the man who founded the institution thereby setting the stage for many a life to spring from.  We have scientists, engineers, academicians and administrators who form the alumni of the college.  That is a success attributable to the man who started it all.  So, I think there is reason to rejoice in a life so well lived.  

Coming home that day, I remembered those close to me and how they made me happy, taught me many things.  Rudolf for being a gentleman, Thebar for what you can call 'first love', Mullar for being kind, taking care of us through our bad times, Betty for 'love', Vikram for being a brother who wiped away my tears many a time when I used to cry, Rufi, Kutty, Figo, Dafy, Wilys, Fori, Karumbi, Chandan, Thumba, Thumbi........ and Michel who I miss so much that it still aches and tears roll.  He was someone who knew my joys and sorrows, my fears, my secrets and who stood by me at my very lowest.  He loved me like no one else, he waited for me to return home and missed my absence.  I would give anything today to see his face once again.  To him I am ever indebted.  I am happy I was a part of their lives and knowing each of them was an honour.  They have made me what I am today.  (By the way, my parents, besides the three of us had more children. Our dogs and cows always got priority over us and it continues that way even today.  We were brought up to think that they were our brothers and sisters.) If I am passionate about life, it is all due to them.  If you see me alive and smiling away, it is what they have taught me to do.  If you see me even a bit strong, it is attributable to the strength of character they showed.  So, my life has been defined totally by them.  My living even a part of their ideas is the way I rejoice and celebrate their life.  It matters to me that they lived and touched my life.  

So, yes, someone's passing away is painful.  For we can no longer talk to them, see them in person and interact with them.  But life and death is a never ending cycle.  I for one, would like my life celebrated.  

India - at the crossroads, converging beautifully

India is a mix - of the old and the new, of the traditional and modern.  That's what makes my land so enchanting, inspiring, beautiful, interesting and intriguing.  This 'pujari' (priest) if I am right, is riding a bullet.

Coimbatore Poo Market

The 'Poo Market' in Coimbatore is famous.  Flowers of all colours abound and energy of people is endless.

People call out to buyers - high pitched yet making the magic of the place.

The buyer-seller bargain is something interesting to watch.

When did IPL become public ?

IPL is private cricket league game.  Yes, BCCI is the umbrella for all cricketing activities in India.  However, I have always thought that IPL is private.  The IPL owners have put in the money and hence reap benefits without getting taxed - and if this is not enough, the team in the story has a boss who smokes in public and struts around because he has money and the power.  We have heard about match fixing, drinking brawls and sleaze over the past week.  All this get front page.  Isn't that the story of IPL ?  Please correct me if I am wrong !!! I am not a cricket buff.  

The paper today put me off.  You have the chief minister of a state along with the governor celebrating the victory.  Ok.  The team is named after the city so, you are there for congratulating them.  But this is not a team representing the state - it is a team made up of people who are there to play after being auctioned.  If a victory for IPL is so important, then why doesn't any government show so much enthusiasm when their home teams win the Ranji Trophy ?  No top level official is seen conducting an appreciation ceremony, forget becoming the MC, the chief guest as well as joining in the dance finally ending in a lathi charge.

Whither are we going ?  Where is the wind blowing ?  And why do we follow blindly.

The above opinions are mine and mine alone.  I may be in danger but then, how are we as a people keeping quiet ?  What can we do ?  If we object, we will be called party breakers...

A Spoilt Brat

The strike by pilots of the national career reminds me of a spoilt brat - no, not that of a child but an adult who has been indulged endlessly to the point of no return.

The last time the pilots went on strike, some of them were dismissed and then if I remember right reinstated.  This habit has made them so bold as to cripple the country, stranding thousands of passengers.  Every job comes with a certain amount of accountability and dignity.   This one is at its pits.  Not that I question employees rights to strike - it is necessary and essential sometimes.  However, going on a strike every six months and plunging the airline to more debts than what it is going through today is not justified.  The current reason given is the training being given to IA pilots for the 787 dreamliner.  When IA and AI have been merged into one entity, does your past still hold ?  Speak of mergers and acquisitions. 

If this is the attitude of the staff, why get us taxpayers to pay for it.  No wonder people try to evade tax.  Imagine, they are getting a 30,000 crore bailout and to top it they go on a strike.  Isn't this behaviour akin to a spoilt brat who goes partying when the family is plunging into debt.  Sometimes, it is better to cut the chord and hope that it will teach the child the value of security and the joy of spending something hard earned.  

I remember the last time I visited the Air India's office.  I had to cancel an international trip for a conference and thereby met the manager to ask him for cancellation procedures.  A gentleman walked in asking if he could get a discount on the ticket as someone known to him worked for the airline.  Another employee walked in asking that the manager's signature for a trip she was taking(I guess airline staff are entitled to trips, subsidised or free I am not sure - but they are which I gathered from the conversation).  All this was happening when the government was wondering how to bailout the airline from bankruptcy. 

Another time, a matronly woman had to be asked thrice by the lady sitting next to me for a blanket to cover herself up as she was feeling cold.  You should have seen the face of the matron. 

Would this have happened if it was a private carrier ? The staff's perks, such as the above would have been immediately cancelled and the expectation is that employees understand that a roof is better than pulling down the whole house.  Another airline in debt was allowed to sink  recently.  Then the question becomes, why not this one.  Just because it is a public carrier ?

It would have been understandable if the employees rallied around to save the carrier.  However, that is not what we as the public feel.  You never know when your flight will get cancelled - no surety.  A government servant is enough to cancel or delay your flight and no questions can be asked(the recent episode being the Maldives one where a plane was changed to accomodate a minister's family).  That is one reason why most people shift to private carriers.    

So, are we going to cut the leg and save the body or are we going to let it rot and stink with people around having to bear for it.  

(I know I sound brutal in places, but then this saga has been going on for too long.  Everytime there is talk of a bailout, parallely the staff go on strike as if it is their birthright.)