Saturday, October 11, 2008

Random thinking

I am trying to take my eyes of the computer screen. They hurt and have started watering with the browsing and reading. Still, I am not getting anywhere - still more confused. Hoping that at the end of the confusion tunnel, I will find a little bit of enlightenment.

In the meanwhile, I am watching an insect crawling around my feet. Watching the teeny-weeny insect, I get questions which I am unable to ask and get answers. The crawly inhabits the same world as ours - but is she aware that this world is so big. How big is her world then - this lab or this dept or is it this university ? Has she travelled a lot ? Do I look like a dinosaur to her ? What does she eat ? Does she drink water ? If yes, there is none in this lab ? So, what does she do ? On her way to somewhere she comes across a bigger crawly and takes a diversion. Is she avoiding the other crawly or is she running away in fear ? I know, I know - I will be called many a thing for such thoughts - crazy, childish, immature, stupid thoughts; some will say that I am wasting time, that I am not doing the important things in life, that I am not focussed and that I need to grow up. Yet, this is what I am thinking as of now and I have no qualms about telling it aloud.

I remember the days, as kids we used to chase dragon flies in the vacant land at home. I have forgotten what it feels like to know these other inhabitants of the world. For that matter I have forgotten what it feels like to have green grass under my feet - I use shoes/slippers all the time 24hrs/day. Must find time to walk in the park. I have not stepped into sand and built castles in a long long time - must find time to go to a beach. So detached, so far away from earth. And from those simple pleasures of childhood.

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