Monday, July 16, 2018

Over flowers

Reading a news feed, I happened to see a case where a lady is beating her m-i-l for plucking flowers from the garden without permission.  Turning physical is not correct.  However, experience teaches otherwise about what many people feel towards flowers being plucked from their own garden.

Can there be another side to this story ? Or will it be viewed only in one angle ?

In the community I live, when someone plucked flowers from a house without knowledge of the owners, the owner objected and put it up on the open Whatsapp group.   The owner's father, a retired gentleman has a green hand and his passion is gardening.  Anything he plants will grow.  And his garden is beautiful.  The colours, placing - immaculate.  Immediately, other members of the community posted on the group telling the owner that flowers may have been plucked for God and it is okay.  Doesn't taking from someone's garden without informing amount to stealing ?  Instead of going by that truth, there were people who tried to justify the other way around.  Why couldn't the justifiers think that it is the fruits of someone's hard work that is being taken away without even asking ?

I grow flowers and I just don't pluck them - no matter what.  Arun, my husband is worse than me.  He does not allow clipping of branches even.  Let them grow like they want, he says.  I would atleast pluck a few flowers for keeping in front of God's picture.  Not my husband - one flower for all the Gods put together after my repeated request.  He is right - the flowers bloom for the birds, insects and for all who wish to not bring harm.  God is omnipresent - they bloom for him to see too.  Both of us don't accept a request of flowers being plucked from our garden, no matter what.  Each and every plant was planted by us.  We dug pits, cleared clay soil, carried mud, mixed dung, all the works.  We look at them as our own children.  So, how will it feel if someone plucked flowers ?  Unacceptable by all counts.

I remember my mom in this case.  She used to work late into night till my dad came home.  She built her garden from scratch, including a roof top garden forty years ago when roof top garden was a relatively unheard of concept.  Children would come and pluck roses she planted near the compound wall.  She told them repeatedly - no avail.  Tired of requesting, she threatened them.  No use.  So, she used to wait with buckets of water or the hose and throw water on kids who tried to steal her flowers.  Her reasoning was perfect.  She didn't have a gardener or a help.  She tilled the soil, dug the ground, built embankments all by herself.  I remember her carrying red mud up the stairs for her roof top garden innumerable times.  She had a right to be angry.  However, the kids parents came protesting that she was watering them down.  They said, it is 'just flowers'.  They said my mom was not adjustable.  Not once did they accept that their kids were wrong.  They wouldn't accept that the kids were wrong in stealing flowers from someone else's garden.  The garden was my mom's source of joy, pride and health.  It gave her happiness like no other.  She was not one who went shopping, socialized, partied or even dressed up much.  She was a simple person who was passionate about what she created.  She found joy in her own hard work.  Is that so difficult for someone else to accept ? 

Society we live in does not believe in a person's space, a person's right to live a life unhindered.  Man is defined as a social being - but that definition holds only in common spaces, not in private spaces.  When will the society we live in understand.  After forty years, I go through what my mom went through.  I hear the same lines told by a group of people, educated, moneyed and well-healed.  Nothing has changed.  Will it ever change ?